Authentic world

 

  Mr. Buzz is the greatest dreamer. In those years of distant youth like his all year-mates liked to dream of a beautiful life with a lovely girlfriend somewhere it's nobody will don't be bother him. Prestige job what will providing with the necessities of life, party bummers, curious pastime, everything it was on his mind. But fate solved to order another way in his life. No, it's not that he didn't have any pretty girls. On the contrary, he dated exceptional beautiful girls. And in his youth he always seemed worthy of notice and expected among his friends, and he had fun leisure time among friends. His life was filled with parties, meetings, emotional, different impressions. But he was guessing it should have been something better and attractive, a more impressive sensation ever had in his life. And Mr. Buzz doesn't stop dreaming, and in that, he never ceases to think about how and where to realize his dreams. He soon met his true love, although there were already many beautiful girls in his life, but it was unforgettable times, when to stay up very late at night face to face together with your beloved. It was romantic meets with stable embraces, impassioned kisses, sensitive touches and sex. So, day after day the time passed out, one season changed to another, years passed away, but the fire of love didn't get out. Mr. Buzz lived of the meets, wherever he was he is thoughts of her. During the day made out of schemes how he will spend the time with his love. Oh, how many of the mad eventide or crazy conduct until late night he
carried into practice. In these affairs he was really a past master. They imperceptibly made their way behind the fenced territory onto the bench under the top of trees, where undercover lush verdure they will succumb to their pleasures. After a crazy hot day when it will fade away last sun's beam fades and the sky shows the hidden planets that are lit up by small stars, they like to hike to the meadow far away from any man's eye. They will sit on the bank of the river talking about and laughing and guessing what a planet appeared in the evening sky. Will disappear long shadows on water from the weeping willows, become quiet warbler. The conversation will change the topic to the more personal and romantic, only the open field wind will be spreading the delicate fragrance of mead, suchlike heady as if a black vine. And when the night meadow will cast a light on the full strawberry moon and crickets will set the pace to the night melody, the meadow will begin to live the nightlife. And in moonlight will fall down attire and bodies will be interlaced in the impassioned kisses and sinful embrace, and only the darkness of night to conceal their nudity. Year after year passed and
even though Mr. Buzz asked for her hand and heart long ago, they continued dating for several years after that. The ardor of love didn't fade even when there were hurt words between them. Soon they're married and the passion for love will be laid down as dust onto the shelves of everyday trouble. To tell the truth, sex remained as frank and open as before. One would think this woman was made for sex. But Mr. Buzz lacked by gone romance, and it begins looking for something replacement for this feeling. And with the bitterness of loss it recollects first dates when on heavy showers days they took the least garments and went to the meadow to be soaked in order to feel the shapes of each other while kissing.  

 

  It was the first dream to fail. He understood so afterward would not be as once. The future household chores lie on the way to happiness. But this moment he disregarded and took it for the changes in his life. Just now, he didn't need to get on dates. After all, now he is married and has the opportunity to get to see his lover eternally. He was satisfied with such a life. Small flat in a communal building, but own, where at all times one can hide from outsiders. Private lodging was one more of Mr. Buzz's dreams, what he bought by setting aside an amount. He was glad that he didn't squander thrift cash and was able to save money for the purchase of the floor. Mr. Buzz exceedingly didn't like to be in debt, therefore its purchase was of special importance. A rented apartment could become a burden for him. Mine home is mine fortress as he tells everyone about it. And indeed, in the evenings there behind closed doors when going back from job to home, they could stay loosely to put on the minimum garments drink tea or beer or possibly something stronger tipple. Such gatherings usually ended with good sex. In this stage of life, sex and money at Mr. Buzz's were major kicks. No, stop by and wait, he still had one expensive passion, and it's photography. And the same evening, after the next pint of beer, he was persuading his wife to pose for a nude photo. In fact, he liked to take photos of his wife, she has a really seductive body and unusual beauty, so he never got tired of looking at her. To be honest, the quality of the photos was not very good, but he really liked the images, they are as provocative as their original. Yes, Mr. Buzz was not a good photographer. Many kith and kin admired his photos, told they're beautiful, but he didn't think of it. Become the greatest photographer was one of his bigger dreams. For an achievement for which he spared neither effort nor money. He looks over the works of leading photographers, takes interest in different sort literature of photos, including photo magazines and books. Communicates in different chat rooms of photos topic, discussion of photos, styles and techniques of photographing. In the effort he succeeded, but with money things didn't look fun. He was able to purchase the necessary outfitting for a home photo studio arrangement, but it didn't ensure high quality. And getting a more paid job was still one of no fewer dreams. But this was maybe the worst thing it would be in his life. Mr. Buzz was like a mushroom, an old dust-rotten mushroom, which could grow only in one place. Yes, Mr. Buzz was not infallible, and in determination and hesitation was his main weakness, possibly. 

  Year after year, Mr. Buzz's ordered life elapsed. Home, job and family took up his whole life. Namely, it was necessary for him and he was happy about it. But everyday turmoil and encumbrance tired out him, and he began to fall into thinking about recreation. “It would be advisable to go out of town or still better go closer near water onto the lakeside”, his wife told him. A sensible proposal, he thought. But he understood, such a trip without a car would be more difficult than usually, and he didn't agree with the proposal of his wife. Owning a car was another old dream. Driver's license Mr. Buzz got a long time ago yet in youthful but sat at the wheel of a car it was never destined. Before even, he didn't think about it since money hardly sufficed even for the living, but now it has become necessary. Conversations got not infrequently about cars and they, together with at that time, three children often hiked to rest over the edge of the city. Children rode on a bicycle, and they sat on the bench and watched what cars drove on district roads. They sat, drank a beer, husked the sunflower seeds and thought about what the car they're matching more. Laughed, joked, argued but were happy since they had the possibility to be together. But the necessity of a car became argent and Mr. Buzz came across with trouble choosing it. The reason is that for the money they had, they would not be able to buy a good car. Therefore, his dream of a convenient car failed immediately, and he focused on budget grade cars. He had some money that he was saving for another dream, buying a DSLR camera. Adding a certain amount of money earned, and taking the rest in loans, he was able to buy, though not a dream car, but one that met his requirements at that time. In time, somewhat little reconditioned and dressed it and in the evening twilight Mr. Buzz would get behind the wheel of the car endeavor to comprehend what the feeling his enclosed. He had been imagining how he was rushing along the road beneath lush trees and the sun's beams glimmering on a windshield while it broke through leaves. Or the moment of the acceleration on the wide multi-stripe road when the force of acceleration depresses you to the seat. But not been euphoria, not been the satisfaction of buying, and the old dream faded in disillusion. It was in all an old car, no more, no less. At this moment, Mr. Buzz understood it all, that's not what he wanted. That car is the necessity which will need to spend time and money, but the real dream for which he was a long time to save up money, if not faded, it will be postponed for time.

  Soon was born his fourth child, and time in my own life became still less. Just at this time, he bought his desired DSLR camera, but it got into his hands in less and less time. A fundamental piece of money on acquisition gave him a wife because his old camera had failed, but his wife understood how important it was to get a camera for her husband. But family and children took more and more time, and more time was needed to work to provide for them. And the place in the flat became even less suitable to fix up a home photo studio, so it remains to take the photos only outside if the weather permits it. Everything fell out of hand. The more Mr. Buzz made an effort, the more all his efforts came to naught. He hardly allocated time for photography, and late at night he sat down at the computer and attempted a rendition photo. The time for sleep and recreation dwindled, and this appreciably reflected on his health. But notwithstanding this, he followed his dream. He didn't forsake the hope that having a car, he would be able to go somewhere, abandoning this gray city where he had already photographed every secluded corner. And his expectation have been fulfilled. Choosing the right time, getting ready, and filling up the fuel to a full petrol tank, took some money, so Mr. Buzz and his family rushed out to the lakeside. It was an unforgettable time that let him feel self-assurance, strength, and inspiration. New impressions and a new way of looking at things favor an innovative approach to creative work. He understood that he could be a skilled person. He once again had the sensation that water was wet, the air was pure, and life was full of hope and fondness. Likewise, he felt like he had once been young, strong, and confident. Confident in himself that he can love, create and create sensations. He woke up before dawn, took up his photo camera, and went to the side lake to take a photo at dawn when the first sun beam lit up the clouds that enveloped the sky above the mirror-like surface of water. Or ripples that run to the side of the lake and force light beams glittering on the bottom of the lake, making pleiades of outbreaks. In the evenings, when the sun faded over the skyline, Mr. Buzz and his family sat down by an open-air fire and roasted slices of pork on a spit, telling different stories. Tongues of fire hissed and licked the red-hot charcoal, leaving behind black ash. The occasional crackle of burning wood tearing off the burning embers and picking them up with warm air, rising them upwards to the stars to blaze up and die in the cool night space. It would seem how much is needed for human happiness. And then the silence falls, and everybody dreams about their own—youth just about a fine life, old about children. The silence is broken by the smack of one of the children's lips, when the first smell of roasted meat is felt in the air. A little more and a shish kebab was prepared, eating one's fill, the tired children went to bed. And the parents sat down on a bench near the camp house, drank coffee, and talked in low voices about their lives and plans for the future. The night seemed a little cooler at this time, so the hot coffee was especially delicious. On the alleys wandered chill wind blowing under from the corner of the camp house bringing different voices of night. The distant barking of dogs heard from the center of the village was replaced by the solitary cry of a night bird, clapped in wings and hanging in the air hunting prey in the open country. From the lake was reached the splash of waves that broke into the lakeside brought out clam-shell and other shellfish. Somewhere into cane's responded drake calling all others to the night's amusement. From time to time, all that was muffled by the rumble of a large truck that was gone not far on the road, delivering supply rations to adjacent settlings. It was very late, long since the stars had begun to change their position in the sky, but they still sat and watched how far away on the skyline flying up and landing aircraft like the small sparkles. It was very far away, maybe even somewhere in a neighbor country, but they sat and admired the fairy play of the night-sky. They still don't know that will pass some years and from these airfields fly up the war jets and fighter bombers what will fly to destroy their homes. And a war will begin, a deadly war for survival, anyhow, without knowing it, they promised each other that they would by all means return to here.

  Acquired new dreams, Mr. Buzz's satisfaction came back to home, to his job that bored him a lot. At this time, he was a seller of spares for the cars. It was a good job but unprofitable. Just at this time, in the target market appeared large trade tycoons that were to swallow up all small businesses. And the web market with power digital catalogs rested sellers of spare parts practically without a job. So in the trade were kept those who collaborated with big companies, certainly for fewer wages, or those who had the possibility to bring wares smuggling in. But that was not a disaster. We have been driven into a difficult situation by the pandemic, which covers the whole planet. Rather, not the pandemic, but all the limitations and prohibitions that were linked with the lockdown. To tell the truth, the limitations in his country were not so hard how in others. But the financial support was the same bad. It is hard to say how Mr. Buzz was treated to the pandemic, but in the beginning pandemic, the fear of his own lives and the lives of his children forced him to close in on the house. But in due course, he understood that a virus that is inflated isn't so deadly, but rather possible to die from a lockdown. Slowly, he less and less paid attention to the authority prohibitions, but terrifying conversation on the TV from time to time forced him to think about the accuracy of action of him. Ok, enough, this story isn't about how Mr. Buzz survived while pandemic. This story is about how Mr. Buzz could achieve almost all of his own dreams and remained with nothing. And so it was throughout his life, as soon as in his life was appearing something beautiful as it contradicted other things what been in his life. Maybe happiness cannot last forever. May happiness be like an ember on a flame rising to die into the space of life. There is nothing to say, the pandemic, too, played a grave part in his job. Namely, helped entombed old job under the debris debt. So, so, the pandemic was a golden kick in the ass, what helped him abandon his old job and start looking for other work. Because Mr. Buzz was like an old mushroom that grew his ass to the armchair on the old job, and you can only uproot it. He did not have to wait long. Soon, he got a new job where he could earn more money. But the new work also took more time, and soon his life turned into a regular money-making routine. Anyhow, he was satisfaction that under existing conditions, when many people were losing jobs, despite his dreams, he found it. He was comprehended that he was owed to abandon all his wishes and dreams and continue to work to provide for his family. At this time, he had only one dream left, so that this hell would end as soon as possible. Meanwhile, Mr. Buzz and his family, when the traffic on the streets had lessened, went outside to get some fresh air. They kept the distance from other human, and while conversation recollect they're the promised to return to the lakeside. Passed away whole two years when the pandemic decreased and all humans felt relief. Mr. Buzz began over again, planning to go on a trip. He was imagined soon will be resting at the bench at the edge of town and will be drinking beer while bringing to mind how it used to be before. He wasn't assumed that after the two years of the lockdown, a return to normal life would be so hard. But he hoped when all the bans fall will be easier to do it, and with impatiently waited for it. But wasn't happened how was thought. The war in his country, which smoldered a long time ago, had begun a full-scale invasion. War jets, cruise missiles, bombers were flying up from enemy airdromes, the same airfields that once they had watched while trip. Multiple explosions, blasts, and bursts thundered across his country. All around burned in full blaze, roared the banshees to the whole country, even in every small towns. On the street all around: tanks, fighting vehicles, men in military uniforms fussed about taking up a defense position. Combat detachments were formed on the square that would take the first enemy's strike. Now it was very important to take off fightback for first enemy's offensive, stop it, and didn't allow penetration into inside country. What happened next, everyone can have their own opinion, all this can be mystifying or rely on the arrangement of stars, but Mr. Buzz's wife was ill with a certain ailment and in order not to have surgery, she was offered to get pregnant. Mr. Buzz often talked about this with his wife, because he understood that even with his current job, the fifth child would be difficult to support. But in this case, it's as if someone decided everything for them. And exactly as the war was beginning, Mr. Buzz's wife announced that she was pregnant. The emotions were overwhelming for Mr. Buzz. He knew that would be difficult, but he knew that he wouldn't be taking in the army with five children on his hands. Thanks to this, Mr. Buzz could stay at home together least he had the opportunity to go out of the country, but took the decision to stay in his homeland and just somehow help. His wife was upset that she had the fate of giving birth to a child during wartime. The enemy was insidious, bombing civilian infrastructure including hospitals, kindergartens, schools, and maternity homes. Mr. Buzz was tired through continuous deliberation about what could happen in different events. And when the wife said to her husband what was pregnant, he said:“Oh God almighty! If you allowed us to conceive this child, then make it be born. I'm very tired, and I won't even lift a finger to give birth to this child. And if You will allow this child to be born, I will accept it and raise it”. In the same way, nine months flew by in continuous worries. But in his hometown, where the echoes of the war could be heard only when heroes who died in battle returned home. And among all Buzz's dreams remaining, only one wish, it's live. Living against all odds, living for the sake of our own dreams. The summer also ran out quickly, as usual. Mr. Buzz and his pregnant wife lived a simple life, didn't make big plans for the future, and were delighted every day. And soon the autumn trees were colored in a hot yellow shade. The days were still warm, but there was an autumn chill in the air. And this day has come. Which is really very unexpected, but it has come. Early morning, Mr. Buzz took the children and led them to grandma and quickly returned home. Together with his wife, sat up in the car to set off to the maternity hospital.

 Epilogue. 

  He drove his car confidently but carefully. A thick fog was shrouded all around of road leading to the valley where the car was racing. The old oaks growing along the road appeared as bizarre shadows floating to the surface from the fog. From time to time, Mr. Buzz checked the correctness of the road with the navigator. The only growth of the tail lights on the road was an affirming approach to settlement. No, it's not their destination yet. He turned right, keeping the right direction, and the emptiness of the fog again swallowed them. Soon the road began to climb steeply uphill, about that evidence reinforced the hum of the engine too. The closer they got to the top of a hill, the fog was scattered changing by mist and from time to time, Mr. Buzz had to turn on the wiper on the windshield. On the top of the hill, the mist had fallen completely, and striking sunlight illuminated the road.
Through the suddenness Mr. Buzz's had to screw up one's eyes, but when the eyes got used to the light he saw the valley covered by fog where they had been not long ago. The dark spires of coniferous trees what pierced through the fog stick out in dead real estate. Only a raven was breaking away from the treetops and whirled over abysmal. The rest of the way was not very heavy and Mr. Buzz knew a moment more, and they would get to the maternity hospital.  There they will be about one week happy life, they and their newborn baby. Mr. Buzz will forget about all his own trouble and feel like life once again was fulfilled the happy, which he didn't felt long ago. He understood what after this the life would not be light. For supply family with five children, him to will have working unstoppable. But he will keep his word to God, and will be bringing up this child duly, no matter how hard it is. But this will be later, and now he is here far away from the rest of family, he and his wife and newborn son. And now exceedingly pleasantly watch how the little tiny doing first motion or snuffle the little nose while nursing. And nobody knows what will be in time to come. The course of the war is uncertain, how long it will last, and whether they will have to become a refugee if something goes wrong. Since far away heavy battles are taking place there, despite heavy losses, the enemy continues to advance in some directions. At now Mr. Buzz understands that all his dreams died away, everything what he is dreamed about fade out. All what he achieved fell down for dead load. The car what he dreamed about didn't carry satisfaction. He uses it only for freight or carrying members of family. No acceleration while racing on the road or a traveling by car. He passed a long way to become a photographer. For this he spent a lot of time and money, but now there is no time to pick up a camera. The DSLR camera he used only for the birthday for the photos for the family album. And the dreams of a fascinate landscape, glamour and still life dispersed like dust. And even a job that brought as money as pleasure was not so nice because it took up all time. Even didn't enough a time to be face to face with his wife, what it liked so much. And a flat, what used to be a shelter turned into a place where you can spend the night. The past away twenty years already since Mr. Buzz is married, and even the rose wedding has passed without a loud party. Slowly all Buzz's dreams fading away, but Mr. Buzz doesn't to attempt too hard dreaming, he doesn't have enough time. He sadly recalls this time when he had the possibility to dreams. And understands what having only dreams, he was once happier. At now, he achieved almost everything but lost possibility to dreams. And when dreams die, there's only hope left, hoping that someday you will start dreaming again, dreaming right, dreaming meaningfully. Dreams should have a place in a human's life. Dreams leave a spark of hope for people, which ignites in people's heads the desire to dream again. Ah dreams, thoughts, wishes and hopes, I said what I said, and although the character of my story is fictional but the events I related are enough real.